The Attack of the Killer Perfume
by VioletIsabelleLovett
Summary: The Doctor has some perfume issues.


**Enjoy!**

The Doctor found it very difficult to not snoop through Rose's things.

It was very fascinating, what this girl needed. All these bottles and boxes and odd clothes…Rose told him it was all a part of 'being a human girl'.

She'd given him a good hard (and well-deserved) slap across the face when she had caught him examining her bra with his Sonic Screwdriver. He said that he was very interested in what type of material it was, since he had never seen something like that before.

"So basically, you were rooting through my bag, and just happened to come across this?" she demanded angrily, her eyes practically shooting flames.

He had nodded guiltily, looking up at her from his chair. That's when she'd slapped him, hard too. It hurt, but he decided quickly that he most likely deserved it.

From then on, The Doctor was very careful not to go rooting through her bag again. Apparently she had 'private things' in there that 'was none of his business'.

He never really got why, but refrained from asking.

Something had fallen out of Rose's bag one day, a bottle full of a gold liquid. _Essence _was printed elegantly around the bottle. On top, there was some mechanism to push down that was located on the cap.

Curious, the Doctor picked it up, pushing the plastic spring. Immediately, he was attacked by some cloyingly sweet mist that stung his eyes and left an awful bitter taste in his mouth. It was in his nose too, and it burned like fire.

"_GAAAAAAAHHH! Get it off get it off get it __**off**__!" _he sputtered, spitting it out and trying to wipe his eyes at the same time. His face now smelled very sweet and girly. Flailing his arms, the Doctor hurled the bottle against the wall of the TARDIS, causing it to smash into pieces. The liquid splattered everywhere, leaving the TARDIS smelling strongly of peaches and roses.

"My _GOD_! What the _hell_ is this stuff?" he cried in disbelief. Hearing the door open, he saw Rose walk into the TARDIS, only to be greeted by an extremely strong scent of her favorite perfume.

"Doctor…_what_ the hell have you done this time and _why_ does the TARDIS smell like…like…my perfume…?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Still in shock, the Doctor pointed at the smashed bottle, still grimacing at her. "That bottle attacked me."

Rose stared at him. "It…_attacked_ you." she asked slowly.

The Doctor nodded quickly. "I swear, I wasn't routing through your bags!" he promised, still feeling the sting of that last slap. "This was on the ground, it rolled out of your bag."

"I pressed the mechanism at the top, and this strange mist sprayed into my eyes and my mouth, nearly blinding me! It left me temporarily immobile, so I threw it against the wall. I think it has some sort of last-resort attack mode, because now the whole TARDIS smells very…yummy." He gave her a confused look. "Why does it smell so good?"

Rose stared at him for a few seconds, before bursting out into uncontrollable laughter.

"It-didn't-_attack_ you! That's perfume!" she gasped, doubled over from laughter. The Doctor frowned. "But-but it hurt!" he exclaimed.

That just made Rose laugh harder. "You can't spray it in your _face! Of course_ that's gonna hurt!"

Managing to contain herself, she shook her head, smiling.

"You're supposed to spray it on your body, so that you_ smell_ nice. It's a girl thing. There's certain…_perfumes_…for guys too."

Understanding, the Doctor nodded. "Is that perfume for girls?" he asked, pointing at the spilled liquid.

Rose slapped her forehead. "Yes…yes, the scent of peaches and roses for girls."

He nodded. "Sooooo…if I were to spray it on me, would that make me smell like a girl?"

Rose nodded. "Yep…"

The Doctor walked over to the smashed bottle, frowning. "Erm…I'm-I'm sorry for smashing it."

Rose chuckled. "It's alright. The TARDIS is just gonna smell like peaches and roses for awhle. I'm sure the Daleks will get a kick out of that!"

The Doctor widened his eyes in horror. "Oh-oh my God…" he whispered in horror. 'The Oncoming Storm' has a girl-smelling TARDIS. He could only imagine how embarrassing this was going to be.

"And you know what Doctor…? With the TARDIS smelling this strong, it's gonna take weeks for the smell to go away. Being in the TARDIS so much, you're gonna smell like this for a loooooong time…" She laughed again. The Doctor looked very pale.

"Next time Doctor, _don't touch my stuff._" She warned.

He nodded, staring off into space. This was going to be an interesting next couple of weeks.

The Doctor just sighed. Well, that wouldn't stop him. He could fight off Daleks, aliens, robots, _anything._ And he most certainly could do it smelling like a teenage girl.

**Poor, poor confused Doctor. When will he learn? XD**


End file.
